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Startled? Don’t be.
We can see it in your eyes. That project that you’d like to bring us on for?
Coincidentally, we’ve already done exactly that kind of work in the past. Multiple times, in fact. Some people call it a “profession”.
We call it destiny.
“What's in the box? What's in the box!?”
Play the Didgeridoo
Wommmmm womwomwomwomwomwommmm
mmmmmmmmmmm oooooooooo wommmmmmmmmm.
Pump Up Your Copy
Does your copy read a little limp? Are you excited and compelled by the energy flowing through these words? Yeah? Hell yeah!
Let’s pump it up!
Recite Pi to Two Decimal Places
3.14.
Yeah, You’re Interested? We Can Also:
1. Align your synergies in order to cultivate holistic marketing campaigns and elevate #brand engagement via targeted nurturing … or something.
2. Make flip-book versions of your real-time sales dashboards. In real-time.
3. Form pacts with the dark spirits. For purposes of lead generation only.
Oli Gardner
Honorable mention for immortalizing me in the annals of landing page templates.
John Smith
John and his unnervingly generic name have been adding value to my team since 1998.
Jane Smith
Jane is … wait, Jane Smith? Are you guys siblings? Are your parents the most boring people on Earth?
Joe Smith
OK, let’s get real. I want copies of all of your birth certificates on my desk by EOD.
A Very Small Hedgehog
Questionable work ethic, but has made immeasurably positive contributions to office morale.
The Dark Spirits
Don’t ask them questions.
Medical Alert Wrist Button
vs.
Medical ID Bracelet
Medical Alert Bracelet
Medical ID Bracelet
vs.
Medical Alert Bracelet
Medical ID Bracelet